Vroomfondel is a (admittedly minor) character in Douglas Adams' brilliant "A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." Who is he? Let's let him explain himself...
(Lunkwill and Fook have just discussed with the great computer Deep Thought whether or not it will be able to calculate the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Deep Thought has said that he will be able to answer the Question, but it will take some time.)
A sudden commotion destroyed the moment: the door flew open and two angry men wearing the coarse faded blue robes and belts of Cruxwan University burst into the room, thrusting aside the ineffectual flunkie who tried to bar their way.
"We demand admission!" shouted the younger of the two men, elbowing a pretty young secretary in the throat.
"Come on," shouted the other one, "you can't keep us out!" He pushed a junior programmer back through the door.
"We demand that you can't keep us out!" bawled the younger one, though he was now firmly inside the room and no further attempts were being made to stop him.
"Who are you?" said Lunkwill, rising angrily from his seat. "What do you want?"
"I am Majikthise!" announced the older one.
"And I demand that I am Vroomfondel!" shouted the younger one.
Majikthise turned to Vroomfondel. "It's all right," he explained angrily, "you don't need to demand that."
"All right!" bawled Vroomfondel, banging on a nearby desk. "I am Vroomfondel, and that is NOT a demand, that is a solid FACT! What we demand is solid FACTS!"
"No, no we don't!" exclaimed Majikthise in irritation. "That is precisely what we don't demand!"
Scarcely pausing for breath, Vroomfondel shouted, "We DON'T demand solid facts! What we demand is the total ABSENCE of solid facts. I demand that I may or may not be Vroomfondel!"
"But who the devil are you?" exclaimed an outraged Fook.
"We," said Majikthise, "are Philosophers."
"Though we may not be," said Vroomfondel, waving a warning finger at the programmers.
Well, that should answer all your questions. If it doesn't, or if you want to know what the Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything is, then waste now time! Get yourself a copy of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", and, while you're at it, the other 4 books in the trilogy! If you have no money to spare, or are simply cheap by nature, the entire text of the Books can be found on-line here. Of course, that would deprive Douglas Adams of yummy royalties, which isn't very nice. He's a nice man! He signed some of my books! You'd like him! So be kind. Also, you might like Adams' two Dirk Gently books -- they're mighty fine!
Look here for loads of Hitchhiker's Guide links!
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