The Pretender's Top Ten Lists by Bari

Top 10 Discoveries Jerod will Probably Never Learn

10. The career opportunities at McDonalds
9. Renting a crappy car
8. Crystal Pepsi
7. Bea Arthur's underwear drawer
6. Cyber Stalking
5. A nucular waste dump
4. Finding a young boy from Tatooine to school in the Jedi Arts
3. Telemarketing
2. Overdue library fees
1. Who the F*#! is actually in his family

Mr. Lyle's Top 10 Hobbies

10. Pushing people in wheel chairs down a flight of steps
9. Gardening in the nude
8. Playing "Where's my thumb?" with prostitutes
7. Kicking puppies
6. Reading "Me and My Gun" Magazine
5. Scanning the "Asian and Single" personal ads
4. Composing ad jingles
3. Handicaped bowling night
2. Sending Brooks Brothers hate mail
1. Looking into the mirrior and crying for "Mommie!"

Top 10 Crimes Jerod will Never Pursue

10. Death of a drug smuggler
9. Monica Lewinski
8. Death of a flip flop salesman
7. Pee Wee Herman
6. Death of a crooked politician
5. A barber who cuts hair on Sunday
4. The stabbing of a hockey referee
3. Cuban cigar smuggling into the U.S. from Canada
2. Death of "10,000 Flushes" Icon
1. Production of "Showgirls"

Top 10 Titles for Jerod's Autobiography

10. Me, My Half Brother, and his Half Sister
9. The Center is the Storm
8. I was Tortured, Pleased to Meet You!
7. Ma Famille est weird (French Translation
6. How I've Doged Death and Still Have Time for Three Girlfriends!
5. McGyver is a Sissy!
4. Why I am; Who I am
3. Computer's Plus: Publishing my Multiple Personalities
2. I do run run run, I do run run
1. A Walkabout with Guns, PEZ, and Good Deeds

Top Ten Guesses to Ms. Parker's Real Name

10. Clara
9. Beatrice
8. Margo
7. Josephine
6. Constance
5. Diane
4. Chad
3. Catlin
2. Teresa
1. Andrea

Top Ten Pet Names For Ms. Parker that we haven't Heard Yet

10. Pookie
9. Lou-Lou
8. Candy
7. Cookie
6. Muffin
5. Georgie-Girl
4. Pumpkin
3. Snookims
2. Nookie
1. Winky

Top Ten Yet To be Scenes

10. Angelo/Broots strip poker game
9. Ms. Parker breaking for animals
8. Mr. Reins getting it on
7. Mr. Parker persuing hobbies outside the Center
6. Sydney getting it on
5. Jerod having a normal day
4. Ms. Parker in sweats
3. Broots in a tux
2. A woman not liking Jerod
1. Anyone having a normal life

Head on back to the Pretender Page or find more fun on the Main Page

I think, there for I am responsible for all the crap that spontaneously springs from my mouth