Red Dwarf!!!!

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'This is an S.O.S. distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf. The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak.The only survivors were Dave Lister who was in suspended animation during the disaster and his pregnant cat who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived 3,000,000 years later Lister's only companions are a lifeform who evolved from his cat and Arnold Rimmer - a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew.'

Yes! Its Red Dwarf and its one of the funniest and craziest sci-fi programs around. First seen on British television a few years back, the once small-budget series has attracted audiences from all round. This page is dedicated to the excellent British show and Im sure that it will grow and grow! Bear with me as I am in the construction phase at the moment but when finished, hopefully this site should not be missed! Join Dave Lister, the Cat, Rimmer and Kryten the service mechanoid in my collection of Red Dwarf sounds which is sure to expand if more interest is shown!

Random Quote:

The following is a small collection of wav files. This collection will grow as the page is developed so call back often! Click on the filename to download the file.

Arnold J. Rimmer

Filename Description Size (Kilobytes)
dead.wav 'Better dead than smeg!' 14.1
quagaars.wav Rimmer discovers a new race or so he thinks.. 204.9
headass.wav Rimmer insulting the ships captain... bad idea 31.7
ace.wav Ace Rimmer 'I'm sorry bongo, I'm strictly butter-side up' 32.6
kipper.wav Ace Rimmer 'Smoke me a kipper... I'll be back for breakfast.' 25.0
kipper2.wav Ace Rimmer... slight variation on the above 26.0


Filename Description Size (Kilobytes)
alaska.wav 'Oh spin my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska!' 36.5
kryten.wav Kryten saying to Lister 'I'm fine thankyou Susan.' 28.7
smeghead.wav 'You are a complete and total smeghead!' 26.5


Filename Description Size (Kilobytes)
escape.wav Lister explains to Rimmer that the escape pod is out of bounds 54.5
smeg1.wav 'Smeghead!' 9.6

The Cat

Filename Description Size (Kilobytes)
6nipples.wav 'I'm so excited all six of my nipples are tingling!' 43.4
cat1.wav Cat tries to steal Rimmer's cigarettes 141.8
cat2.wav 'I'm gonna die... I've been fished to death!' 71.7

Talkie Toaster

Filename Description Size (Kilobytes)
toast.wav 'I toast, therefore I am.' 61.9

New!! Red Dwarf Series VII sounds - You wont find these anywhere else on the web!! I recorded them myself!

Filename Description Size (Kilobytes)
paradox.wav Lister attempts to explain the paradox leading to their current situation at the beginning of series VII 131.9
subcons.wav Listers subconscious is EVIL! 206.4
gaylisty.wav Lister finds out a disturbing fact about his other self... (The woman in this clip is Kochanski played by Chloe Annett) 161.3
hideous.wav Kryten and Lister... see for yourself! 159.3
badass.wav Kryten: 'Just call me badass!' 27.2

Check out my cool Red Dwarf Links page - Lots and lots of links!!!!

I badly need more server space so that I can provide you with more Red Dwarf Series VII sounds - please email me (see link below) if you can spare some.

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