The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

This is a list of all of the Ferengi rules I could find. In all cases I have listed the episode in which I found this info.

1.

Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Rom, "The Nagus"

1.

If they want their money back, give it to them.
Rom and Quark, "Prophet Motive"

3.

Never spend more for an Acquisition than you have to.
Quark, "The Maquis, Part II"

6.

Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Zek, "The Nagus"

7.

Keep your ears open.
Odo, "In the Hands of the Prophets"

9.

Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Nog, "The Storyteller"

10.

Greed is eternal.
Quark, "Prophet Motive"

10.

Greed is dead.
Rom, "Prophet Motive"

16.

A deal is a deal (...until a better one comes along).
Quark, "Melora"

18.

A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Ben Sisko and Nog, "Heart of Stone"

19.

Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Quark, "Meridian"

21.

Never place friendship before profit.
Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"

21.

Never place profit before friendship.
Rom, "Prophet Motive"

22.

A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

22.

Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever.
Rom, "Rules of Acquisition"

23.

Money can never replace dignity.
Rom, "Prophet Motive"

31.

Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother ...insult something he cares about, instead.
Quark, "The Siege"

33.

It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Quark and Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

34.

War is good for business.
Quark, "Destiny"

35.

Peace is good for business.
Dax, "Destiny"

47.

Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own.
Quark, "Rivals"

48.

The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

57.

Good customers are as rare as Latinum. Treasure them.
Quark, "Armageddon Game"

59.

Free advice is seldom cheap.
Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"

62.

The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Pel, "The Rules of Acquisition"

75.

Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum.
Quark, "Civil Defense"

76.

Every once in a while declare peace--It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
Quark, "The Homecoming"

102.

Nature decays, but Latinum is forever.
Quark and Nog, "The Jem'Hadar"

103.

Sleep can interfere with... [cut off]
Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

109.

Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
"Rivals"

111.

Treat people in your debt like family--exploit them.
Ben Sisko, "Past Tense Part I"

139.

Wives serve. Brothers inherit.
Odo, "Necessary Evil"

194.

It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
Quark, "Whispers"

214.

Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
Quark, "The Maquis Part I"

217.

You can't free a fish from water.
Quark, "Past Tense Part I"

285.

No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Quark, "The Collaborator"

285.

A good deed is its own reward.
Rom, "Prophet Motive"

286.

When Morn leaves, it's all over.
Quark, "The House of Quark"

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