This Is Not Here...



Welcome to my homepage...yaddi yaddi yaddi...
If you see something here you don't like, email me, then seek professional help--
After all, it's just a web page...

I DO, however, welcome any and all questions, comments, concerns, and suggestions.



This page is continuously under construction (aren't they always?)...So if you see something you think needs changing, use the form at the bottom of the page to drop me a line and tell me what you think should change and why. If you give me good enough reason, I'll use your suggestion. Tip: I take both American and Canadian currencies...



The Different Parts Of My Page (creative title, huh?)





Section One: I Am A Rock



Who Am I? (Like you were really wondering)



Name: tHe HaPpY pHaNtOm
Birthdate: May 17
Well, what year?: I'm female, I can plead the obligatory age denial
Location: A land of make-believe . . . but I'm tryin' not to let it show
Hobbies: Everything that's listed on this page, plus art, horseback riding, and The X-Files!
Current Musical Interests: The Moody Blues, Tori Amos, Janis Joplin, Nirvana, Jefferson Airplane, Enya, Mark Snow, NIN, Juice Newton, The Beatles, The Doors, Pink Floyd, 60's, 70's, and 80's music; almost anything and everything.
Lame @$$ of the Month: The Television Academy of Arts and Sciences-- Screw over the X-Files, huh?? Well you know what? JUST because of this, my sole purpose in life is now to become an IRS agent, and I'm going to make you see the words "AUDIT" every year for the next decade!! Don't mess with hypersensitive Philes!!


Section Two: I Made This!


These Are All Pages That I Own And Operate


My X-Files Page

Blurry Vision

MORE LINKS ON THE WAY...THEY'RE JUST NOT DONE YET


Keep yer pants on, they'll be here soon . . .hey, I said keep those pants on--oh come on, I don't want to see that! Knock it off!




And so it was said:

Section Three: Let There Be Links . . .




NOTE: The X-Files are TM and 20th Century Fox Film Corporation...I do not own them...except in my most delusional fantasies...







EMPTY SPACE...AIN'T IT NIFTY??


Like me, if you are into retro/vintage clothing--click on the hippie...you won't regret it...well, maybe you will. After all, the clothes do cost MONEY!! Ha ha ha! Sucker!


Ahem, okay, sorry 'bout that...it's a really cool site


GO HERE! What more can I say?






aren't all these lines annoying??


Section Four: Stuff


Do NOT click here

.


Point Your Mouse Here to See the Kewl Word for the Day.


THIS WEEK'S EPISODE: See tHe HaPpY pHaNtOm give in to shameless endorsements! Hear the sounds of her begging for money in return! Feel the terror as her requests are turned down time and time again!
(Note: The following contains shameless plugs for some other websites.)




Yep, you guessed it...this page best viewed with Netscape Navigator3.0...hey, I use the Internet Explorer but if you use Netscape, then the little X-Files pictures up there will change every few seconds...cool huh? Although Netscape doesn't scroll as smoothly, it does support more fonts and has greater Java capabilities! Isn't that neat? Makes you want to run out and get Netscape don't it?? Get it FREE! I did! You can do it too! Just click on the li'l button!



Don't live in the dark! Learn how to create alla those fancy-schmancy web pages you've been looking at all day! Learn HTML like the rest of us! It's worth it! (insert big, flashy grin here) 4 out of 5 psychologists recommend it for the treatment of insanity!Okay, so maybe it's not doing very well on the insanity part, but really, an excellent hands-on site.
HTML now!


!Register-It! - Promote Your Web Site!

Is your homepage feeling lost out there all alone in the vast, ever expanding world of cyberspace? Do you ever stop to wonder, "What does all this mean?" Well pay these nice folks a visit and get your homepage registered. You can register it with 16 search engines for free! You're guaranteed to have increased traffic to your site! Be noticed!


Enjoy!







Please give me your opinion! Input! Input!

Please tell me your name: (Do not hit return)

1) Please provide your comments about my page

2)What was your overall impression of my page?

This page is copyright 1997 The Happy Phantom...because I said so




You are the person I have lured into my psite of inpsanity since June 7th, 1997....

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