But before you go in, a quick word to the wise:


I am not a Satanist, nor do I play one on TV. The closest I've ever come to sacrificing ANYTHING was a spider that crawled on my bedroom ceiling when I was 9 years old. I happen to be an agnostic who will probably burn in Hell if there is one, because I decided to have fun on Earth. I don't want to be shown the light, make friends with Jesus (the song 'Pain on the Riverside' by Live best sums up my feelings on THAT matter -- "They keep telling me about this Jesus/A man on love and a man of strength/But what a man was 2000 years ago/Means nothing at all to me today"), be born again (I got it right the first time), or repent for most of the things I've done in this life, because I've had a ball. Don't take these pages seriously. For the most part, it's just me joking and goofing around. I make fun of the Bible thumpers, the Nazis, the Goths, and most importantly, myself. We live on this Earth only briefly, we should enjoy it to its fullest. So take these pages with a grain of salt. The devil is not my friend, and Anton LaVey scares the livin' begeezus outta me. I love my family and friends very much, as well as the memory of Michael Hutchence. Long live sarcastic humor, it's the only non-convention we have left. If you're still offended by this page and it's satirical contents, may your God grant you the wisdom to understand when someone is just joking around. And in the immortal (immoral?) words of Eddie Murphy back in the days when he was known primarily for his stand-up...."My house, my rules, if you don't like it, get the fuck out."

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