Laffy Taffy Jokes


Welcome to my Laffy Taffy Page. I am dedicating this page to a man I worked with [ Millard ]..HAHAHA!!! He very patiently listened to Brenda and I at work as we told him joke after joke off of Laffy Taffy wrappers!!! So these are written off of the wrappers themselves. I don't take any credit for them!!

I will be adding more when I get them!! Have fun now!! Comment: Even though Millard no longer works with me this page will stay as it is. WE MISS YOU Millard!! UPDATED: I just recieved an Award for this page!

Thank you Eric for this wonderful Award!! :)


(1)Q: WHEN IS A CAR NOT A CAR?
A: WHEN IT TURNS INTO A GARAGE!

(2)Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP COOL AT A BALL GAME?
A: SIT BY A FAN!

(3)Q: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A COMPUTER WITH A RUBBER BAND?
A: I DON'T KNOW BUT IT MUST MAKE SNAP ANSWERS!

(4)Q: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS AN ELEPHANT WITH A FISH?
A: SWIMMING TRUNKS!

(5)Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BABY WITH A DRUM?
A: A BABY BOOMER!

(6)Q: WHAT DID THE MAN SAY WHEN A PICUTURE FELL ON HIS HEAD?
A: I'VE BEEN FRAMED!

(7)Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL GRANDMOTHER WHO CRACKES JOKES?
A: A GRAM CRACKER!

(8)Q: WHAT KIND OF TEA CANNOT BE TAKEN INTO SPACE?
A: GRAVITY!

(9)Q: WHAT DID ONE SHOE SAY TO THE OTHER SHOE?
A: DON'T STICK YOUR TOUNGE OUT AT ME!

(10)Q: WHAT DID THE GROUND SAY TO THE DINOSAUR'S FOOTPRINT?
A: YOU MADE A BIG IMPRESSION ON ME!

(11)Q: WHY DIDN'T THE ASTRONAUTS LAND ON THE MOON?
A: BECAUSE IT WAS FULL!

(12)Q: WHAT KIND OF NUT SOUNDS LIKE A SNEEZE?
A: A CASHEWWWWW!

(13)Q: WHAT DID THE GRADUATED CYLINDER SAY?
A: LOOKS LIKE I MEASURED UP FOR SUCCESS!

(14)Q: WHY DOES A MILKING STOOL HAVE ONLY THREE LEGS?
A: BECAUSE THE COW HAS THE UDDER!

(15)Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A SINGER WHO IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE A TENOR?
A: A MINOR!

(16)Q: WHAT IS TEN AND TEN?
A: NUMBERS!

(17)Q: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A PIG WITH A CHRISTMAS TREE?
A: A PORCUPINE!

(18)Q: WHAT KIND OF SHOE IS VERY SCARY?
A: A HORRORSHOE!

(19)Q: WHY DIDN'T THE LEOPARD GO ON VACATION?
A: IT COULDN'T FIND THE RIGHT SPOT!

(20)Q: WHAT DID ONE POTATOE SAY TO THE OTHER?
A: I CAN SEE YOU ARE A CHIP OFF THE OLD SPUD!

(21)Q: WHAT DID THE FOOTBALL SAY TO THE FOOTBALL PLAYER?
A: I GET A KICK OUT OF YOU!

(22)Q: WHY DID THE MOTHER PUT THE BABY ON THE RECORD PLAYER?
A: IT HAD AN AUTOMATIC CHANGER!

(23)Q: WHAT KIND OF TREE GROWS IN YOUR HAND?
A: A PALM TREE!

(24)Q: WHAT ARE A SAILORS FAVORITE FRUITS?
A: NAVAL ORANGES!

(25)Q: WHAT DID THE PANCAKE SAY TO THE BASEBALL PLAYER?
A: BATTER UP!

(26)Q: WHAT DID THE CHEERLEADER SAY TO THE GHOST?
A: SHOW YOUR SPIRIT!

(27)Q: HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN JACK-O-LANTERN?
A: WITH A PUMKIN PATCH!

(28)Q: WHY COULDN'T THE GIRL EAT HER ALPHABET SOUP?
A: SHE WAS ALLERGIC TO THE B'S!

(29)Q: WHY IS A TRAIN LIKE A STICK OF GUM?
A: ONE GOES CHEW-CHEW, THE OTHER GOES CHOO-CHOO!

(30)Q: WHAT DID THE IGNITION SAY TO THE CAR KEYS?
A: YOU REALLY TURN ME ON!

(31)Q: WHY COULDN'T THE PIG WRITE?
A: BECAUSE HIS PIG PEN WAS OUT OF INK!

(32)Q: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE BASKETBALL COURT?
A: BECAUSE THE REFEREE CALLED FOWL!

(33)Q: WHAT DID THE BOY WITH THE WORLD'S GREATEST MOTHER DO?
A: HE BUILT A MOM-UMENT!

(34)Q: WHAT PLANET IS LIKE A CIRCUS?
A: SATURN IT HAS THREE RINGS!

(35)Q: WHY IS A PANCAKE LIKE THE SUN?
A: BECAUSE IT RISES IN THE YEAST AND SETS IN THE VEST!

(36)Q: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE CARRIED OUT TO SEA ON AN ICEBERG?
A: KEEP COOL UNTIL YOU WERE RESCUED!

(37)Q: WHY DIDN'T THE LITTLE GIRL WANT TO LEAVE NURSERY SCHOOL?
A: SHE WANTED TO BE A NURSE WHEN SHE GREW UP!

(38)Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A LEASE OF FALSE TEETH?
A: A DENTAL RENTAL!

(39)Q: WHERE DID THE KITTENS GO ON A CLASS TRIP?
A: TO THE MEOW-SEUM!

(40)Q: WHY IS YOUR NOSE IN THE CENTER OF YOUR FACE?
A: BECAUSE ITS THE SCENTER!

(41)Q: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU HAVE A CAT THAT EATS LEMONS?
A: A SOUR PUSS!

(42)Q: WHAT DID ONE WORM SAY TO THE OTHER?
A: I'M MOVING TO THE BIG APPLE!

(43)Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A TURKEY THAT EATS TO FAST?
A: A GOBBLER!

(44)Q: WHAT HAS ONE HORN AND GIVES MILK?
A: A MILK TRUCK!

(45)Q: WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS A STEREO AND A REFIGERATOR ?
A: VERY COOL MUSIC!

(46)Q: WHAT DID THE WATER SAY TO THE SPONGE?
A: QUIT SOAKING!

(47)Q: WHY ARE KINDERGARDEN TEACHERS SO GOOD?
A: THEY MAKE LITTLE THINGS COUNT!

(48)Q: WHY IS A BAD JOKE LIKE A POOR PENCIL?
A: BECAUSE IT HAS NO POINT!

(49)Q: WHY DID THE BASKETBALL PLAYER BRING A DUCK TO THE GAME?
A: SHE WANTED TO SHOOT A FOUL SHOT!

(50)Q: WHAT DO YOU FEED A INVISIBLE CAT?
A: EVAPORATED MILK!

(51)Q: WHAT KIND OF SHOES DO FROGS LIKE TO WEAR?
A: OPEN TOAD SANDALS!

(52)Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A CAR THAT NEVER STOPS?
A: CARGO!

(53)Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A HOTDOG IN A BUN?
A: AN IN BETWEENIE WEENIE!

(54)Q: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A GOOSE WITH A CAMEL?
A: GOOSEBUMPS!

(55)Q: WHAT DID THE BEE SAY TO THE FLOWER?
A: HI BUD! WHAT TIME DO YOU OPEN!

(56)Q: WHY DO HAMBURGERS FLY SOUTH FOR THE WINTER?
A: SO THEY WON'T FREEZE THIER BUNS!

(57)Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE ANY RUBBER BANDS?
A: SEE IF YOU CAN FIND A PLASTIC ORCHESTRA!

(58) Q: WHAT DID THE STAWBERRY SAY TO THE BANANA?
A: DIDN'T I SEE YOU ON SUNDAY (SUNDAE)!

(59) Q: WHAT'S THE HARDEST THING ABOUT LEARNING TO ROLLERSKATE?
A: THE PAVEMENT!

(60)Q: WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU MIX TWINS WITH A BASEBALL PLAYER?
A: A DOUBLE HITTER!

(61) Q: HOW DO YOU COMMUNICATE WITH FISH?
A: DROP THEM A LINE!

(62)Q: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A ROOSTER WITH A DUCK?
A: A BIRD THAT WAKES UP AT THE QUACK OF DAWN!

(63)Q: HOW DO YOU FIX A BROKEN TOMATO?
A: WITH TOMATO PASTE!

(64)Q: WHY DID THE LITTLE COOKIE CRY?
A: BECAUSE IT'S MOTHER WAS A WAFER SO LONG!

(65)Q: WHAT HAS NO LEGS BUT CAN DO A SPLIT?
A: A BANANA!

(66) Q: WHAT ROOM CAN NO ONE ENTER?
A: A MUSHROOM!

(67) Q: WHAT DID THE FORK SAY TO THE SPOON?
A: WHO'S THAT SHARP GUY NEXT TO YOU!

(68)Q: HOW DID DINOSAURS DECORATE THEIR BEDROOMS?
A: WITH REP-TILES!

(69)Q: WHY DO PHONES RING?
A: BACAUSE THEY CAN'T TALK!

(70)Q: WHY DID THE BEAR RUN AROUND HIS BED?
A: HE WANTED TO CATCH UP ON HIS SLEEP!

(71)Q: WHY WOULDN'T THE MAILMAN DELIEVER THE GHOST'S LETTER?
A: HE WAS ON HIS COFFIN BREAK!

(72)Q: WHAT TWO LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET CONTAIN NOTHING?
A: M.T!

(73)Q: WHY COULDN'T THE SHOES GO OUT AND PLAY?
A: THEY WERE ALL TIED UP!

(74)Q: WHY WAS THE CAT AFRAID OF THE TREE?
A: BECAUSE OF ITS BARK!

(75)Q: WHAT OPENS AND SHUTS BUT IS NOT A DOOR OR WINDOWS?
A: YOUR MIND!

(76)Q: WHEN DO YOU STOP AT GREEN AND GO AT RED?
A: WHEN EATING WATERMELON!

(77)Q: WHAT IS THE BIGGEST ROOM IN THE WORLD?
A: ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT!

(78)Q: WHAT DID ONE CAMPFIRE SAY TO THE OTHER?
A: LET'S GO OUT ONE OF THESE DAYS!

(79)Q: WHAT FOODS ARE ESPECIALLY GOOD FOR YOUNG PEOPLE?
A: THE PRO-TEENS!

(80)Q: WHAT KIND OF TREES SEW?
A: PINE TREES:THEY ALWAYS HAVE A NEEDLE AROUND!

(81)Q: WHAT DID THE SKUNK SAY WHEN THE WIND CHANGED?
A: IT ALL COMES BACK TO ME NOW!

(82) Q: HOW DO YOU CUT THE SEA IN HALF?
A: WITH A SEA SAW!

(83) Q: WHAT BUILDING HAS THE MOST STORIES?
A: THE LIBRARY!

(84) Q: WHAT WAS THE COWBOY LOOKING FOR AT THE BEACH?
A: A SEAHORSE!

(85) Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A SLEEPING BULL?
A: A BULLDOZER!

(86) Q: WHAT DO FROGS ORDER FOR DINNER AT RESTAURANT?
A: FRENCH FLIES!

(87) Q: WHY DID THE BELT GO TO JAIL?
A: IT HELD UP A PAIR OF PANTS!

(88) Q: WHY WAS THE APPLE MEAN AND ANGRY?
A: IT WAS A CRABB APPLE!

(89) Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A CRAB WHO PLAYS BASEBALL?
A: A PINCH HITTER!

(90) Q: WHAT IS THE CLUMSIEST BEE?
A: A BUMBLING BEE!

(91) Q: WHAT KIND OF BEAN CAN'T GROW?
A: A JELLYBEAN!

(92) Q: WHAT DID THE JUDGE SAY TO THE SKUNK?
A: ODOR IN THE COURT!

(93) Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A CAR THAT CAN GO UP CLIFFS?
A: A CONVERTICAL!

(94) Q: WHAT KIND OF BRUSH DO YOU USE TO COMB A BEE'S HAIR?
A: A HONEYCOMB!

(95) Q: WHEN CAN YOU JUMP WHILE SITTING DOWN?
A: WHILE PLAYING CHECKERS!

(96) Q: WHY IS A CUTE BABY AND A DOORKNOB ALIKE?
A: THEY ARE BOTH SOMETHING TO ADORE!

(97) Q: THREE PEOPLE WERE STANDING UNDER AN UMBRELLA WITH A HOLE IN IT. WHO GOT WET?
A: NOBODY IT WASN'T RAINING!

(98) Q: WHAT DOES A BIRD GET WHEN IT GETS HURT?
A: MEDICAL TWEET-MENT!

(99) Q: WHAT DID THE GIRL SEA SAY WHEN THE BOY SEA ASKED HER FOR A DATE?
A: SHORE!

(100) Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A HORSE THAT LIKES ARTS AND CRAFTS?
A: A HOBBY HORSE!


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