It was late 1983 when I received the unwelcome news that I was pregnant... again. I was married, but we were having serious marital problems. I had talked with my pastor before marrying, and he understood my reasons for not wanting to have anymore children. But, here I was... pregnant again! I was devastated and crushed.
I resolved that I would have an abortion. Now, I was and am now a Christian woman, but I was so tired. I had come out of one bad marriage to find myself right smack in the middle of another one. My husband had lied to me about serving the Lord just to get me to marry him. All he really wanted was a free ride and I guess I looked like a vulnerable enough woman for him to use his charms on. Being lonely and feeling undesirable, I fell for all of it.... hook line and sinker! I had wanted someone to share the responsibilities of daily life and I found that wasn't the case. Now, I didn't want to have 4 children to raise by myself... so I looked into the unthinkable... the thing I said I would never do in my lifetime.... abortion.
I had been raised to believe life started at the time of conception. That it was a baby; a living, breathing, heart-beating child... but I also knew that God would forgive me in my time of weakness. That He would still love me and take care of me.
When I counseled with my pastor about what I was contemplating, he brought over some material on abortion and the Christians stand on it. As I thumbed through the pictures of little tiny, body parts..torn from their mothers bodies too early, I felt sick. I remember feeling so alone and crying out to God to help me make my decision. He did! I called the clinic I had made the appointment to kill my child in.. dialed the phone and canceled the appointment. My child would be safe. We would have a lot of obstacles in our way, but we would make it with the Lord's help.
In my third month of pregnancy, I started having complications that landed me flat on my back for 5 months in order to save my baby's life. It's ironic when I think of that now. I was going to kill my child, but when faced with the possibility of losing him.. I fought with everything I had to save him. I'm so glad I did.
June 4th we celebrated Timothys 13th birthday. As I looked into the face of my son, growing so quickly to be a man, tears streamed down my face. He is such a wonderful person.. a Godly boy of gentleness and kindness. He is handsome, with a bit of an attitude that makes him hot!(his sisters thoughts)
Timothy recently attended Youth Camp in Colorado and was baptized with the Holy Spirit. He came home with such joy and happiness inside him. He seeks after the Lord in his daily life. He wants to be listening to Christian music, and watching Christian TV. He even had me go out and buy him some dress clothes to wear to church on Sundays. He has also started playing the drums for Youth and some Sunday night services. I am impressed!
Then I remembered the Prophesy that was spoken over Timothy when he was a tiny baby, still nestled inside the walls of my body. "This child will be a man. He will be a mighty man for God and will preach and prophesy in Jesus Name. He will be mightily used of the Holy Spirit." I cried once more and whispered these words, "Thank you, Lord, for the precious son you gave to me 13 years ago. Thank you Lord, that I made the right choice and chose LIFE"
"The Ravens Nest"