Welcome to the finest strip joint in the whole of Tenerife: APPLES! Here you will find all kinds of "adult entertainment" including strip shows, strip teases, lap dancing, and bell-end polishing.

We have a selection of lovely Ladies for your viewing pleasure, each with their own unique attributes; so without further adue let me introduce them to you:

NAME: Declana

PET NAME: Spunk Guzzler.

HOBBIES: Cooking, reading, walks in the park, golden showers.

FAV. FOOD: Spaghetti, pizza, Hot Karls.

PRICE: £10 a gammy; £20 shaft; £50 eat yer shite.

NAME: Jamesina

PET NAME: Cock Lover.

HOBBIES: Swimming, fishing, pop shots, fisting.

FAV. FOOD: Lasagne, manfat.

PRICE: £15 clown punch; ten bucks for a snaking.

NAME: Timolina

PET NAME: Hot Nipples.

HOBBIES: Lazy summer days, music, reach-arounds.

FAV. FOOD: Curry, pasta, salami surprise.

PRICE: £20 suckee suckee; £40 Hot Karl; £50 for a bust ass.

NAME: Andrea

PET NAME: Pee On.

HOBBIES: Amateur photography, quadruple penetrations.

FAV. FOOD: Veggie burgers, fries, Kojack's poloneck.

PRICE: £17 posh wank; £25 wank (with arse cheeks).

NAME: Sally

PET NAME: Dirty Whore.

HOBBIES: Dolphins, classical music, spitroasts.

FAV. FOOD: M&S varieties, home-made meatballs, clown pies.

PRICE:£10 dry hump; £50 cheeky bagpipe.

NAME: Stephanie

PET NAME: Big Bendover

HOBBIES: Socialising, bouncing on old men's pink steel.

FAV. FOOD: McDonalds, KFC, man sandwich.

PRICE: £10 boom boom; £250,000 up the wrong 'un.

NAME: Ru Paul

PET NAME: The Gimp.

HOBBIES: Stamp collecting, being pummeled into a matress.

FAV. FOOD: Sardines, Brasso.

PRICE: £15 wank into a sock; £1.25 can of Right Guard.