A PAGE OF HOPE

Hi! You've made it to our homepage dedicated to all survivors, not only of Abuse but all of the things that plague our earth. I'm (Hope) a 22 year old college student majoring in sociology at a University in Florida.

We wrote this page not only as a survivor of leukemia (on our second year of remission) but also as a survivor of child abuse and neglect. We suffer from a Disassociative Disorder along with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. We wrote this page not as a victim, but as a survivor who has not give up hope. The people who thought they could destroy us, namely our "loved" ones, did not win, We are still here.

Someone told us we should write a book about our life and perhaps someday we will as a final healing step but as of right now we do not have the time or inner strength to do that. Instead, this is a brief overview of our life.

I (Hope) live in a body with over 100 other alters, we were created over years of abuse, indignity, inhumanity, and apathy. The people who knew of the abuse did nothing to stop it and the ones who didn't know didn't look close enough or they would have. I do not know who I blaim more. The parent who was mentally unstable and an alcoholic who abused us or the other parent who simply stood by and watched what was being done.

A friend once asked what it's like to be a multiple to which we replied what is it like to be singular. From the day I came into existence there have been others. All with thoughts, feelings, memories, pain, losses and dreams of their own. I am never alone cause they are always with me. I hear their thoughts and dreams. I feel their pain and their happiness. I receive flashes of their memories and their nightmares. I am there when they are abused over and over in the night and I am there when they win small triumphs. They are my life and I am their's. Simple yet complex. Just like us I guess.

We can usually be found in SANCTUARY with all our friends, if not there then we are out dancing or reading a book or simply vegging out infront of the television. Maybe writing poetry or painting a picture, something we call art but others may disagree with us (ok ok, we can't draw a straight line with a ruler but who cares.) I'm most happy in small groups, being the person I am and not trying to live up to other people's expectations of me. I love a good book and a great movie even better.

For anyone who is confused by our using I sometimes and we othertimes it is beacuse I refers to my (Hope) own thoughts whereas we refers to the thoughts of several of us.



***SURVIVOR LINKS***




SEXUAL ASSAULT LINKS
RAINN -Rape, Abuse, and Incest Nat'l Network
Butterflies is a magazine for survivors of incest, sexual abuse and ritual abuse.
Child Sexual Abuse has a list of signs and symptoms of SA including resources
Links for male Sexual Abuse victims
Sexual Abuse links for male victims



DISASSOCIATIVE DISORDERS LINKS
SANCTUARY is a survivor's group including a MUD for ppl to talk
Kathy's essential Info. on Trauma and Disassociation has some pertinent links
D.I.D. you see us fly is a look into a multiples mind. MAY CAUSE TRIGGERING!
Safehaven is a site for people who have suffered from Satanic Ritual Abuse, Ritual abuse or suffer from Disassociative Disorders
Divided Hearts is a site with MPD/DID info and support
When someone you love is multiple offers sound advice and information for people who have multiples in their lives



CANCER LINKS
ONCOLINK is a page on information for cancer patients, family members and survivors.
Cancer related links including Gov't, Educ'l, and Cancer Inst. servers.
Cancer FAQ
Leukemia site that gives basic info on the causes and treatments.



HIV/AIDS LINKS
AIDS resource list
NOAH is a non-profit aids resource center.
Georgetown University's Medical School site about AIDS research.



PTSD LINKS
Nat'l Center for PTSD has research done by the VA on PTSD
PTSD site with descriptions, research, booklets, and magazine articles
SIDRAN site with a comprehensive list of books and articles about PTSD
PTSD with links to several informative sites
APA sight on PSTD including history, symptoms, and treatments.



EATING DISORDER LINKS
Eating disorders covers the basics on 3 of the eating disorders
EDAP Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention has a site filled w/ helpful information and resources
Eating Disorder medical study and history
Eating Disorders gives a description of what the symptoms and effects on the body that E.D. cause
Comprehensive guide to eating disorder associations including newgroups







Links to FUN sites on the Web

Virtual Presents has cute gifts to send.
Virtual Flowers will send flowers to a friend.
23,000 recipes to try out..
Trivia questions about the 80s
Ultimate Wedding Page
Cute lil CURSORS to enjoy including doggies and kittens








NEW! Blue's Clip Art Page a small clip art section designed by my lils




NEW! Turtle's Page for Children and Lils.



Thank you for viewing my page. If you know of an interesting site to add please drop me some mail or if any of these links do not work for that matter.

Please sign my viewbook if you get the chance, my littles love to know who has seen this page. Two of my littles will be putting up pages geared towards children and a clip art page. Please stop in and view us again soon.



1997














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