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MP MERV TWEED:
Top ten ways to know that a person is a Liberal.


HOUSE OF COMMONS DEBATES
38th Parliament, 1st Session - Edited Hansard * Number 027
Thursday, November 18, 2004

MEMBERS' STATEMENTS

Liberal Party of Canada

Mr. Merv Tweed (Brandon-Souris, CPC): Mr. Speaker, here are today's top
ten ways to know that a person is a Liberal.

Number ten, the person thinks that the public purse is his or hers to
match with his or her shoes.

Number nine, the person hears rumours of civilization outside Canada's
major cities, but dismisses it as Conservative propaganda.

Number eight, the person knows the firearms registry is really just a
ploy to supply our armed forces with registered guns confiscated from
hunters.

Number seven, having the person's spokesman threaten only one province
is that person's idea of asymmetrical federalism.

Number six, upon finding a wallet, the person removes half the cash as
the government's share before returning it.

Number five, the person thinks moron, bastard and idiot are terms of
endearment.

Number four, the person thinks the government's number one priority
means every campaign promise.

Number three, a campaign promise is more of a theoretical concept than a
commitment.

Number two, a person is surprised that the red book is in the fiction
section of the parliamentary library.

The number one reason a person knows that he or she is a Liberal is when
fast-tracking immigration claims, stripper tops his or her list of a skilled trade
that Canada is desperately lacking. 
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