How to screw-up your school without getting caught!
1. Get a syringe (minus needle) or similar device. Mix both tubes of epoxy glue with a little rubbing alcohol. You now have about half an hour to fill locks, door jambs, etc. before glue hardens. If you can't get the epoxy glue and syringe a tube of airplane cement can also be used although it is not as permanent.
2. An alternative use for the syringe is to pretend to shoot up while a teacher is watching. If they speak to you tell them you have to do it because school is so horrible.
3. Call the school and leave the phone off the hook. The way some (but not all) phone systems work this will tie up their phone for as long as yours is off the hook.
4. Protest U.S. aid to reactionary regimes abroad by defoliating plants around the school or by digging a bomb crater on the front lawn. When the ecology freaks complain ask them where they were when the U.S. was doing the same thing to Indochina.
5. Draw or paste something 'obscene' on pull-down wall maps or movie screens.
6. Get some of the punch cards that your school uses for taking attendance. Punch new holes in them either with a keypunch machine or a screwdriver. Then switch the cards with others wherever they are stored. If you can figure out the code the cards are punched by this has even more possibilities. You can often be just as effective without actually repunching the cards by redistributing them a few days after you collect them (particularly when they're used for attendence).
7. Start an information service to get new students opinions and warnings about the teachers and administrators before enrollment day.
8. Bad food? Have a good old fashioned food riot.
9. In gym classes or in hallways between classes have massive searches for 'lost' contact lenses telling people not to walk through the hall or 'you might step on it'.
10. If your school still has a dress code protest it having everyone do something disruptive that does not violate the code. For example, dye your hair green with food coloring.
11. Free all the animals in the biology classroom.
12. Write a 'consumer report' on the 'education' you've been consuming. Distribute it to parents at school functions.
13. Periodically have students go to the office to have some rumor confirmed or denied.
14. Perform citizen's arrests of administrators for destroying the minds of youth then telephone the police to come and take the criminals into custody. (This would be an excellent guerilla theatre action).
15. Rip off dishes and silverware from the cafeteria, towels from the gym, stencils and paper from the duplicating room, layout equipment from the art and drafting departments, tools from the wood shop, and light bulbs from the sockets. Give them to a needy movement group.
16. During lunch turn on and light all the gas jets in the science labs.
17. Demand to see your school records on file. (Everyone can see them.)
18. You can make a very effective fuse by inserting a non-filter cigarette in a book of matches so that it touches the head of some matches and will ignite them when it burns down that far. Then loosly crumple paper around the matches and cigarettes so that they are hidden. Toss it in a wastebasket or any other area with a lot of papers preferrably in the office. It takes about 5 minutes to ignite -- by then you can be on the other side of the building. Practice this at home before trying it.
19. Have giant coughing or sneezing epidemics in class or study hall.
20. Rub lipstick, glue, vaseline, or shit onto the doorknobs of the school's administrative offices.
21. Swallow some snake bite antidote then walk into the principal's office. The antidote (most types are harmless -- make sure you get that kind) will make you vomit. Do so all over his carpet, desk, clothing, etc. then apologize profusely.
22. Pick up some dog training liquid at any pet store -- it smells like concentrated piss. And if you can't figure out what to do with that then you shouldn't be reading this.
23. Remove contents of teacher's mailboxes. Print up everything that's confidential or interesting.
24. Leave notes and hints that 'Tuesday's the day'.
25. Impersonate parental voices and make irate phone calls to the office.
26. Make a super stink bomb out of Hydrogen Sulfide and put somewhere in the ventilating system. This has cleared school buildings for days.
27. If your school has a suspended ceiling (a ceiling composed of rectangles or squares resting on a frame so that the rectangles can be pushed up) you can put a dead fish -- or anything else -- above them. Or put it into empty lockers and glue them shut.
28. Put signs on your locker saying 'this locker will self-destruct if opened for inspection'.
29. Give your school library a subscription to a good underground newspaper from your area and insist that they make it available to students.
30. Print up false notices frequently using the same format as the school uses and distribute them to the teachers' mailboxes. Eventually they'll never know what to believe.
31. Make your own passes, forms, tickets, etc. or lift them out of teachers' desks.
32. Need a signature? Collect things that have teachers' signatures on them. Paste them all down on a sheet of white paper and either xerox or print up a bunch of copies. Forge when useful. (When getting started you might put a piece of carbon paper under the signature with the carbon paper facing down on what you want signed. Then trace over the name with a steady relaxed hand. Practice makes perfect.)
33. Do some revolutionary wall painting. All you need is a can of spray paint (red?) plus a little imagination and courage. Then write your favorite slogans on walls, sidewalks, blackboards, etc. If you are a perfectionist you can make a stencil, but that limits the size of what you can do. WEAR GLOVES or you will certainly get tell-tale paint on your spraying finger.
34. Are certain teachers or administrators misbehaving? Print up a rat sheet with their names and telephone numbers and distribute it. Now students can call up at any time and reprimand them -- 3:00 AM for example. Also you could order them pizzas ... plumbers ... think big!
35. Break into your school at night and burn it down. To get inside you can either hide in the building during the day and wait until the janitor leaves (know in advance what time that is), or come in later at night and either force your way through the door, find an open window, or break a window (see Monroe Mindfuck). If you use the latter method do it a few hours or days in advance so you don't get caught if it attracts attention. Be careful not to leave fingerprints -- wear gloves all the time if possible. Once inside make sure the walls will light well by placing loose paper or wood around them, or squirting lighter fluid, kerosene, or gasoline onto them. If a lot of burnable boxes are stacked in one area spread them around. Start the fire from the inside of the building so it will take longer before it can be seen from the windows. Make sure the fire has a way to travel from one burnable area to another. Of course you should wear dark clothes and know exactly where you are going when you split.
36. Get hold of a film to be shown at a school assembly and splice in parts of another movie of your own choosing before the assembly. A little imagination on your part will make for an unforgettable day.
37. Clog up the drains of sinks with clay then turn on the water after everyone leaves school.
38. Teachers often leave gradebooks, conduct sheets, and attendance records unguarded. Take every chance to help yourself.
39. Put up posters all around the school. To make them stick permanently use Pet evaporated milk for glue.
40. You could ice-pick tires as a warning -- but make sure you have a total enemy before you put sugar in their gas tank.
41. Start wailing in the halls.
42. If you can't find any skunks, let chickens loose in the school ... or pigeons.
43. Create the 'WEB OF THREAD' in your classroom. Have everybody in your class bring a spool of thread -- with extras for people who forget. Tie your thread onto something and pass the spools around till you run out, winding thread around everything. (It is best to pick on one of your more dullwitted teachers for this one). Expalin that you did it in the name of art.