by: Steve Mercado

These are a few selected haikus that I think are worth being published for everyone to see. For those who don't know, a haiku is a three line poem with the first and last line having 5 syllables and the middle having 7 syllables. I have more, but they are mostly inside jokes that you wouldn't understand. The ones published are about whatever pops into my mind at the time, and have to do with some very disgusting things. You'll just have to see for yourself....

--poor beaten puppy

he was beat up by some guys

see the bone protrude

--shrinky-dinks are fun

color in a smurf or dog

stick it in the stove

--lion is hungry

so it hunts down a small deer

rips the flesh apart

--car speeding down road

it needs to slow down quickly

rabbit barricade

--fire burning bright

throw in an aerosol can

watch that mother blow

--i love my family

they care for me and love me

big ol' machine gun

--small youthful hamster

he has too much fur on him

it won't be for long

--the girl has nice hair

long, blonde, straight and flowing down

i have a razor

--tank with many fish

it tips over easily

fish suffocation

--colorful flower

giving pollen to the bees

then i mow it down

-- the rain keeps coming

the water keeps on rising

along floats a house

--what has gone wrong here

strange mutation has happened

looks like you just puked

--what's wrong with your skin

looks like you must be in pain

flesh torn from yourself

--you have one big head

what caused it to get so big

man, that noggin's huge

--that train won't stop now

you better watch out fast

well, it's too late now

--it's pouring outside

that acid rain is quite strong

it will melt your flesh

--poor high school mascot

stolen by the school's rivals

dead within a week

--it's a very dark cave

scary and dark inside

you stepped in guano

--atheletes are big

you know it's artificial

side effects: small balls

--Columbus set sail

no girls on his ships at all

he did it with guys

--baby is not born yet

should it live or should it die

leave it up to me

--magician appears

casts a spell and shrinks my nuts

magician is gone

--that bunny is fierce

it will kill you with one swipe

you don't believe me?

--it's so flammable

keep it away from a flame

or else you will go bald

--a freak of nature

he has no fingers or toes

he likes to eat cheese

--riding the highway

motorcycle tips over

guy splattered on road

--a labotomy

the monkey knows way too much

hand me a chisel

--that cute furry dog

shave the hair to keep it cool

leave mohawk on top

--a puny midget

he thinks he's such a bad ass

until he sees me

--a high waterfall

from the top it's so far down

there goes the puppy

--a cute little cat

take out the small intestine

wrap around the throat

--starving baby snake

it refuses to eat food

please take my sister

--top of volcano

look in and see it's all red

goes off in your face

--beer makes me happy

i loose all sense of what's real

and i pee a lot

--i have a headache

you better shut up now

i'll beat your ass

--scratching in public

not allowed in many states

oh, you will get caught

--the moon is made of cheese

no preservatives added

it must be moldy

--surgery laser

burns through flesh with one small spark

it's in my hands now

--compare fish to men?

similies and metaphores

poets should be lynched