Here's some serious insight into the current EC
Due to the economic and financial situation and the probable merger of
departments/corporations, retrenchments etc, the Public
Service Division has decided to implement a scheme to put staff over the
of 45 on early retirement.
The scheme will be known as RAPE (retire aged persons early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to be eligible for SHAFT (special
Persons who have been RAPED or SHAFTED will be reviewed under SCREW (scheme
for retired early workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice
many times as management deems appropriate.
Staff who have been RAPED can apply to get AIDS (additional income for
dependent or spouse) or HERPES (half earnings for
retired personnel early scheme).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
further by management.
Please note that ministry spouses who are not in the PSD may not get AIDS
HERPES due to DEATH (dependence ends at the home).
They are encouraged to use CONDOMS (Care of non-dependents (only males)
Due to the structure of the schemes, PSD regrets that only male spouses of
staff may qualify for this scheme.
The PSD regrets that other schemes suggested for females are as yet
and urge male staff not to get RAPED, SHAFTED or
SCREWED as their wives cannot use CONDOMS