Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You
order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you
wish
you had ordered that.

------------------------
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

------------------------

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool
when I
married you."

She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

------------------------
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted." Next day
she
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."

------------------------
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found
a
man just like father!"

Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
_____________________________________________

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her
keep him.

------------------------
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in
Europe. -
Jackie Mason

------------------------
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"

And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.

------------------------
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I
got married; and then it was too late."

------------------------
A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a
millionaire."

"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.  The woman
replied, "A billionaire."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get
to
prove it.

------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second
marriage is
the triumph of hope over experience.

------------------------
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you
say, talk in your sleep.

------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.