One of the best successes to DD (after communication) is consistency and structure. It is one of the things that women complain of the most. After wanting this in their life, convincing their husband to take control of their lives, DD enters the relationship. After a short time, he feels that life is good, and therefore relaxes. She interprets this as not caring. She then, begins to test him, finding that he didn’t see any of her misbehaviors, or if he did, chose not to do anything about it. She becomes frustrated, becoming a brat, only to become depressed, as the bratting is ignored. She views this as uncaring. Suddenly he is the “bad guy” now.
He becomes frustrated as he wants to come home to a peaceful relaxing home, and he does not want to hover over her. He set forth the rules, now why is she suddenly misbehaving? What confuses him more is the fact that if a spanking is supposed to be a punishment, then why does she deliberately disobey him and become angry when he doesn’t punish her?
In the "good ol' days", the women only concerned themselves with the household. Their husbands worked outside the home and provided the money for the family. She may have grown the vegetables, raised the animals to be eaten, but did not worry too much about the finances as her husband has always provided enough for them to live. It wasn't her worry. She may have watched her budget, but always knew they would have a roof over their head, food to eat, fire in the stove, and clothes on their backs.
She also hardly worried about things she had little or no control over, as she was too busy worrying about her own things. Whether or not the dinner would be on time, and would taste good, whether or not the kids were clean, etc.
Even if we work only in the home, or work outside the home, society has taught us to be partners to our spouse.
Nowadays, we women take on many of the financial worries. Even if we are not bringing the money home, we worry about the heat bill, the phone bill, the house payment, groceries, and clothes for the kids, etc. Then there are the other worries, like getting to appointments on time, transporting the kids here and there, if the appliances are in working order, etc. This of course is in addition to keeping the house clean, the food on the table, the clothes washed, etc. We also worry about all the crime, the drugs, and the violence in our society. It is not surprising that in this day of chaos and extreme stress, we need a safe place to get away from it all.
We need a place that is predictable. We need a place where if we should misbehave, it won’t mean the loss of our job, that our vehicle won’t be repossessed, that we won’t be getting a ticket, or being the victim of road rage. We will have a place that in spite of the way we behave today, we are still loved and cared for. We are still important. At home is a place where we can let go of those worries at least for a little while. We can concern ourselves with the rules we must follow, or the consequences we must face. We can make the choice to break them also, and by being punished, we prove to ourselves we are safe.
We need consistency and structure in our lives in order to not be as stressed as most women are today. To tell a person who is stress and anxious to “just relax” makes about the same sense as telling a depressed person to “be happy.” These things have to come within. By setting forth a structured and consistent home, it enables her to only worry about things she has control over. She has the ability to choose her own outcome.
In turn, this lifestyle will help the husband also. He doesn’t need to worry about the things she is responsible for. There isn’t any tension or hassles. If she simply doesn’t do her part of the bargain, she is punished. After her punishment, she will be forgiven and will try harder.
The first thing that must be done is set up structure. Bear in mind that some families may not be this busy to need these guidelines, but other families are busier than ever. If you find yourself with little or no time at all, then perhaps the suggestions may be of benefit to you.
TABLE - OF - CONTENTS
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Consistency and Structure
Hitting the wall
Taking a break
Myths and Facts
Hormones Affecting Spanking
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