|As I lay asleep, my thoughts so deep, I dreamed of a land of sweets|
But into my treats, a creature I did meet, and it did not smell too sweet
He was confident and cocky, a little bit stocky, but 100% terror he be.
That's why dear sir, at about that time, I no longer had the urge to pee!!
He had crimson red eyes, the size of meat pies, and delicate hands for stroking
But on the end of those hands, were hideous sharp claws, that could only be used for poking.
I stood unaware, underneath his red glare, and then he began to baste me,
Then he licked his lips, and stomped his feet, and bellowed "You look tasty!"
I fled for my life, down the hallway so dark, as my heart beat like a bass drum.
With the creature close behind, running in line, still trying to poke my bum.
In a closet I found, hanging above the ground, my suit for monster bashing.
So I turned around, without even a sound, and proceeded to give this bastard an ass thrashing.
Monster Proof Mask Plus! Includes air filter for the very aromatic monsters.
2) A Lai!. This is to confuse the monsters and irritate them with the obnoxious colors. "Are we in Hawaii?" they will say.
3) A rain suit! They can be a messy bunch, and this will help your fight for good.
4) Magic Monster Thunder Stick! The thunder stick will give you a much needed edge in this never ending battle.
5) Some terrific oven mitts! For protection of your hands, super grip for your monster destroying weaponry and they just look so damn cool!
6) A wonderful life jacket! For floating through monster goobers.
7) Mrs. Biggles terrific Monster Repelant PLUS!! Can now be found in mountain mist scent.
8) Jock Strap! Monsters fight dirty
9) The Monster Whupass Sack! For holding the critters once you whupped their asses.