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Tom: Recently, Nick's sister - Nick: Who I LOVE. Tom: Made several allegations concerning Nick and several of his predilections. For instance, she said, whilst wearing velvet V-neck with striped, multicolour tights and hand painted skirt, that he had a poor taste in fashion for wearing a quote 'red T-shirt with green jacket'. Incidentally, there's a pic of Nick on the site in the same get-up somewhere, so you can judge for yourself. Nick: Anyway, whilst reading Dolly magazine, and completing the girl quiz, she also stated that I had no music sense either, becuase I listened to this - [short excerpt of Cake's "I Will Survive"] instead of [short excerpt from Peter Andre's "Mysterious Girl"] Tom: It gets worse. Lucinda, for that be the Beast's name, insists on only renting out 2 different types of video. One: Horror movies that she doesn't even take out of the jacket, because she's too scared. Examples of this include 'Silence Of The Lambs', 'The Paperboy' and some vampire ones. Nick: Hey, wait up Tom - she's COOL, because she rents them out. Tom: Oh right. Silly me. The second type are videos that there already are copies of at home - this includes 'Diabolique', 'Mars Attacks' (which she paid out Nick for watching in the cinema, only to discover it's a quote "darling" unquote film, whatever that means) and some other ones like 'Mr Nanny' and 'White Fang 2'. Nick: Obviously, Lucinda has heaps more clue than both me and Tom put together, and today, on 37 Challenge, we're going to burn one of her plush toys. I say 'one' because she has over 100. And which toy shall be burn today in a fit of jealousy and envy, Mr Murtagh? Tom: Ooh, I don't know, Nick. The cow one looks nice, as do all the pink and white bears. The snowman is tempting me...but I'm going with the rabbit. Nick: Well, a very nice choice indeed. Okay, Tom's got a pack of matches and an aerosol can, and I'm going to hold Mr Rabbit. He's going to light the jet of the spray, and we're going to 'go right off' with our economical little pocket-sized flamethrower here - it should be quite an event Tom, right? Tom: Hang on, Nick. At this stage I should mention that this week's 37 Challenge is brought to you by 'Jurassic Park III - Barney Goes Bananas', coming to a cinema near you. But hey! Bitchfunky burn fest, brother. Let's go! Nick: Wait up, shouldn't I wear gloves to- (scorching sound, Nick yelps) Tom: Alright! That thing burnt up a treat! Wow! Nick's obviously excited, he's jumping around and waving his arms! (distant yelling) This is Tom Murtagh, signing off another successfully completed 37 Challenge!
Each 37 Challenge is lovingly written and handcrafted by Tom Murtagh and Nick Ball. The script and RealAudio recording "Burn, Plush Toy, Burn" are Copyright (c) 1997 Nick Ball and Tom Murtagh. "Theme From Mission: Impossible" recorded by U2. "I Will Survive" recorded by Cake. "Mysterious Girl" sung (apparently) by Peter Andre.
No part of this recording may be reproduced or rebroadcast in any form without the express prior permission of the copyright owners, except for the purposes of review.
The proprietors of 37zone regret any offence caused by this sketch. Any similarities to any actual events or people, living or dead, apart from Nick and Tom, are purely coincidental.
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