Goldilocks
& The Three Bears
 

 

Here’s my story about a family of bears.
They have no woes and they have no cares.
Then one day their world is in limbo.
Goldilocks’ fault, that little blond bimbo.
Starts in the morning at a quarter to nine.
The bears are up cause it’s breakfast time.
Mama gets the porridge from the breakfast pot.
Papa takes a bite and screams: “It’s too hot!”
Mama agrees and the baby does too.
They take a walk to let their food cool.
Here comes Goldi, a spoiled little brat.
She wipes her feet on the “Welcome” mat.
She knocks on the door: “Is anyone home?”
Opens the door, here eyes began to roam.
She walks right in and looks around.
Sees the table and sits right down.
She sees the first bowl and the big boiling pot.
Takes a bite: “My it’s too hot!”
She moves to the next one, her tongue getting bold.
Takes a big bite: “My it’s too cold!”
She moves to the next one at the speed of light.
Takes a small sip: “Man, it’s just right.”
She gulps it down, quick in a flash.
Stands right up and her bulb begins to flash.
“I am tired and my feet are weary.
“Better sit down and think more clearly.”
She entered the next room with only three chairs.
Each one belonged to a different bear.
She went to the first one, all the window’s were barred.
She sat on the biggest and screamed: “It’s too hard.”
She slid to the next one, her attitude pushy.
Sat on the next one: “No it’s too mushy.”
Sat on the smallest: “This is just right.”
Started to break, she screamed with fright.
Next thing you know she’s sittin’ on the floor.
Whimpering a little and screaming some more.
She picked herself up and walked upstairs.
She was sick of porridge and scared of chairs.
She thought to herself, I need to rest my head.
Found a room containing three empty beds.
She climbed the first bed as quick as she could.
“This too hard, it’s made of wood.”
She hopped on the second and it sank to the floor.
She hopped on the third and she was awake no more.
Not long after the bears came back.
They all notice someone had entered their shack.
Papa walked in and turned on the light.
He looked at his food: “Someone’s taken a bite.”
Mama looked at hers: “Some has been taken.
“I’m not sure, I could be mistaken.”
Baby cried: “Mine’s all gone.
“Who could have done it, we haven’t been out long?”
Papa raised his head and sniffed the air.
“Someone has been sitting in my own chair.”
Mama growled once and she growled again.
“My chair has been sattin’ in.”
Baby cried after Mama had spoken.
“Someone sat in mine and now it’s broken.”
They left the room and left their chairs.
Up to the bedroom went the three angry bears.
“Someone has been in my big bed.”
“Someone’s been in mine,” Mama said.
After she spoke, the baby bear eyed his.
“Someone’s slept in mine, and there she is!”
Goldilocks woke up immediately.
She ran downstairs to escape the three.
She ran away fast, the bears were glad.
She never went back, and she wished she never had.
The bears put MasterLocks on every door.
And put electric eyes across the floors.
Even though Goldilocks meant no harm.
The place is now wired with an alarm.

—Kyle Jacob Hêbert, 1995
© 1995, 2004 KJH STUPH Productions


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Posted: 6-May-2004

Last updated: 06-May-2004
Copyright 2004 KJH STUPH Productions