HOW DOES A PERSON DECIDE WHO TO MARRY.
"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." Kally, age 9
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming," Allan, age 10.
,,No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry,
God decides it all way before, and you got to find out later who you're stuck
with," Kirsten, age I 0
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
"Married people usually took happy to talk to other people." Eddie, age 6
"You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids," Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
"Both don't want no more kids." Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." Lynnette,
WHAT THE CHILDREN WOULD DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?"I'd
run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make
sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns," Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"When they're rich!" Pam, age 7
"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." Curt, age 7.
"The rule goes like this, If you kiss someone, then you should marry them
and have kids with them..., It's the right thing to do." Howard, age 8
THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
'I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing .-I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out!" Theodore, age 8
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys, Boys need somebody to clean up after them! " Anita, age 9
"Single is better ,. for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers.., Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing, "Kirsten, age 10.
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR A YOUNG COUPLE ABOUT TO BE MARRIED?
"The first thing I'd say to them is: 'Listen up, youngins ... I got something
to say to you. Why in the heck do you wanna get married, anywayT "Craig,
WHAT PROMISES DO A MAN AND A WOMAN MAKE WHEN THEY GET MARRIED?
"A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases
together." Marlon, age 10
GETTING MARRIED FOR A SECOND TIME
"Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than one to find
a live one," Angie L,, age IO
HOW TO MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK
"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!"
Ricky, age 7 "If you want to last with your man, you should wear a lot of
sexy clothes.... Especially underwear that is red and maybe has a few diamonds
on it." Lori, age 8
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there" Kelvin,
age 8 "You can be sure of one thing - the boys would come chasing after us
just the same as they do now!" Roberta, age 7
WOMEN SPEAK IN ESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE RELATIONSHIPS:
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her
girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then
she will get on with her life. A man has a little more trouble letting go.
Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will
call and say, "I called to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never
forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But, I want you to
know that there's always a chance for us."
This is known as the "I Hate You I Love You" drunken phone call, and 99%
of all men have made it at least once. There are community colleges that
offer courses to help men get over this need.
Women prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay.
Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.
In the locker room men talk about three things: money, football, and women.
They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they
think they do, and they fabricate stories about women, Women talk about one
thing in the locker room: sex. And not in abstract terms, either, They are
extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie,
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function
as adults. Most 17-year old Males are still trading baseball cards and giving
each other wedgies after gyrn class- This is why high school romances rarely
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's magazines
also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a
beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not
be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman's
body, Most naked men elicit laughter from women,
A man has five items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,
a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number
of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able
to identify most of the items.
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store
and buy these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are
half a lime and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything
that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout
counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly
Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the I 0-items-or-less
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking,
men kick cats.
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite
foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams, A man is vaguely aware of some
short people living in the house.
'11 dress up to- go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the
A woman wi
phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings &
Women do laundry every couple of days, A man will wear every article of
clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years
ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he
will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain
of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at
the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old American sitcoms.
Men are vain; they will check themselves out in a mirror. Women are ridiculous;
they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons,
store windows, Joe Garagiola's head,
When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated,
psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of these changes
varies with the individual. Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction
- he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy Frennch cap and leather driving gloves,
and goes shopping for a Porsche.
Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of I
I or 12, they lose interest, Men never grow out of their obsession with toys.
As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and silly and
impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's, Complicated juicers
and blenders, Graphic equalizers, Small robots that serve cocktails on command,
Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 "D" batteries
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