|TO ALL PERSONNEL:
FROM DIRECTOR OF PERSONNEL:
SUBJECT: EARLY RETIREMENT PROGRAM.
As a result of AUTOMATION as well as declining workload
Management must as of necessity take steps as to reduce our workload force
A reduction in Force Plan has been developed which appears most equitable
under the circumstances.
Under the plan, older employees will be place on early retirement
Thus permitting retention of employees who repersent the future of the company.
Therefore a program of phase out older personnel by the end of the current
fiscal year, via early retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
The program will be known as RAPE - Retire Aged Personnel Early.
Employees who are RAPED will be given the opportunity to seek other jobs
within the company. Provided that while they are being RAPED they request a
review of their employment status before actual retirement takes place.
This phase of the operation is called SCREW / Survey Capabilities for Retired
All employees who have been RAPED and SCREWED may also apply for final
review. This will be called SHAFT / Study by Higher Authority Following Termination.
Program policy dictates that the employees may be RAPED once SCREWED twice.
But may get SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.