Rules To Be a Man
3. Play with yourself. Talk about it.
4. You are a man. Remember, no matter what, it isn't your fault.
6. Never ask for help. Even if you really need it - don't ask. People
7. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.
8. If, God forbid, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use
10. Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his name in urine.
12. Deny Everything. Everything.
13. Don't have a clue.
15. Tell this to a girl before you have sex, "Don't worry. If you
16. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at
18. Do not make decisions about relationships. If you are backed
Answer: "Yes, if you can guess how many sperm I produce in an hour."
19. Play with your food only if you are in a public place with people
20. You are NOT a virgin. Ever. Males are born without virginity.
21. Females do not care what you do to them as long as they get to please you.
22. Basic fundamental rule of dating: Quantity, not quality.
23. Basic fundamental rule of sex: Quantity IS quality.
24. Crying is not manly. Then again, if you are a man, what do you
have to cry
25. Women are your napkins. Use them, and throw them away.
26. Remember, every virgin girl is saving herself for YOU.
27. If your woman makes you go shopping with her, drive around until
28. If you're on a date, and there is a lull in the conversation,
29. When you tell a girl about your past, it's good to say, "God,
30. The best sex position is you, lying face up...and 20 girls on top.
31. Practice your blank stare.
32. If you're ever forced to show emotion, just pick random emotions
33. If you are asked to do something you REALLY DON'T want to do,
34. Don't listen to "pussy" or "chick" music like Erasure, Color
35. Make dates with girls, then don't show up, just to see how long
37. When a woman is right and you are wrong, just acknowledge the
fact that she