There has been started a brand of humor in the SCA known as
You know you are in the SCA when... or YKYITSCAW for short.
They are usually based on true stories about the strange things
people find themselves doing, after they have been in the SCA more
than a week.
You know you`re in the SCA when...
- your garb closet is bigger than your mundane closet.
and the clothes are in better condition.
- your kid can't make the highschool baseball team because
he swings a bat like a bastard sword.
- you shout "clear" when you pull a pen from your pocket.
- upon learning that a friend has just discovered that she has
only one kidney (born that way, apparently), your second thought
(after "that's weird") relates to fixing her armor . . .
- you watch the old replay of the Crowning of the English Queen
Elisabeth II and you recognize peoples ranks by the Coronets
they are wearing..
- when you visit a period castle, notice the draperies and
bedspreads, and think of what lovely clothing they would make...
- you visit a period castle, museum, historical site, etc. and you
can spot the mistakes in the tour guide's lecture.
- while watching the same Crowning, you all of a sudden tell your
Lady, "We could use that stuff at Our Coronation.."
- when your boss hands you a magazine and tells you to check out
the article on full armor. But when you start leafing through
the magazine expecting to see pictures of helms, breastplates,
etc. you discover that it's an article about a PC security
package called Full Armor.
- You get a question about OOP programming techniques on a Comp
Sci exam and think: "ALL programming is Out Of Period".
- you ask the guy at the Welder's Supply store for 16 gauge steel
wire for chainmail and he gives you a blank looks and asks,
- when your girlfriend, not you, is the bored one being dragged
from fabric/clothing store to fabric/clothing store.
- the lady at the fabric store asks your girlfriend if she needs
help and she points at you saying, "He's the one looking for
- you get a Christmas card in the mail and you look at the
shepherds and background figures with a magnifying glass to see
the costuming details.
- your sweatpants have holes in the knees and rust stains, because
you wore your armor over/under them.
- you sneer at "the Burger King" saying "He's wearing a county
- your kid gets a cardboard punch out castle and you
- take it away from him and put it together yourself.
- point out the flaws in the architecture.
- based on your assessment of the flaws in the
architecture, figure out how you and your household
could, hypothetically capture it if it was a real
- your kid gets a bunch of plastic knights you swipe them to
outline your tactical ideas for the next war/fighter practice
with your friends.
- you're a burly guy who looks like a Hell's Angel, but you do
embroidery in public.
- you hide the really awful costume references in the stacks at
the library, so future costumers won't be led astray. Or, you
write criticisms in the margins of said awful costume references.
- you "reality check" wargames and role-playing games by saying
"That's wrong! I know that Duke Swaetsox can do X...
(where X = some combat-related feat), I've seen people do that
in the SCA!"
- you watch Henry V (or the Zefferelli Romeo and Juliet) over,
and over, and over, again - for the costumes/fighting scenes.
- your immediate family consists of only two rather small, thin
people, but you justify your purchase of a full-sized van/pickup
truck saying "We'll need the extra space for events!"
- you show up for work on Monday with the most INTERESTING
bruises. (Or possibly a chain mail weave sunburn).
- your reaction when you see some sort of handicraft is "I can
make that" or "I can buy that from Mistress Seamchecker for
- your annoyed because the armor at the art museum isn't
displayed so that you can get a good photograph of the
- you're in Europe you pass up famous OOP sites to see tiny little
places that might have related to your persona.
- when you do aerobics, you do galliards in time to the music.
- when you make a new recipe you take out the potatoes, tomatoes
and peppers, because they're OOP for Europe, even if you're
- you choose your language courses in college based on what your
persona would have spoken (...Man! I'm really bummed out that
they aren't teaching Anglo-Saxon this semester...)
- you mutter "What a waste" every time you see rattan lawn
- your reference section on your field of interest is better
than the equivalent section in the local library.
- you slip and begin a letter "Good Milord..."
- you slip and date a letter "The Tuesday before Michealmass,
A.S. XXVII (or whatever).
- you're annoyed because your new printer didn't come with
Luxhaeiul miniscule or Batarde as one of the standard fonts.
- people don't assume that you're going in for surgery when you
say "This weekend, I'm going to get my knees fixed".
- your idea of a sack lunch is mince-meat pie, cold mulled
cider and wafers left over from the feast the week-end before.
- your hobby takes more of your time than your job.
- you start to wear your hair the way your persona might have
worn his/hers. (...Smith, it's not so much the waist length
beard, but do you really have to braid it?...)
- you sign a check, using calligraphy.
- you name your pets after obscure historical figures.
- you name your children after obscure historical figures.
- people think your in a commune because you're alway talking
about your "household".
- you rattle when you walk, because you're wearing a mail shirt
under your shirt.
- people think you have a room mate because your answering
machine says "neither Fred or Froddi are in right now..."
- people assume that you're an exchange student/recent
immigrant because they hear people calling you by the most
- you see "Fields of Armor" listed as a program on The Discovery
Channel, and are REAL disappointed that its about tanks.
- your mundane friend came over because he was looking for duct
tape and he was sure you`d have some lying around.
- you overhear the 10-year-old at the next picnic table quoting
You know your children are in the SCA when...
- your five year old daughter, who is watching a video of the
Gene Kelly Musical "Brigadoon" (Scottish Wedding scene), looks
up and says in a clear scornful voice, "Bad Pensic Garb!!!!"
- when you overhear your three-year old meeting new little
friends at the playground and he asks, "What's your name?"
then "What's your SCA name?"
- when your 4th grader writes an essay in school about a time
when she "felt special" and writes about the time Daddy carried
her favor in a tourney and how great it was when he won his
first 2 bouts and how disappointed she was when he got killed
in the semi-finals and then the teacher calls you and wants to
know if your husband has died.
- [your child`s] pre-school teacher asks the children to name one
item they would take camping, and she pipes up with "A Sword!".
(The little girl in question has never been camping EXCEPT at
SCA wars.) The Christian pre-school teacher was best described
as "not amused".
You might be a stick-jock if...
- the crowd of ladies you are escorting to the shopping mall are
heading to the wrong door you shout SHIFT LEFT! SHIFT LEFT!
- If you're bruised black and blue every Monday morning....
and you enjoyed getting that way....
- you pick up the bin lid and automatically snap it up to a
- you're wearing chainmail to the office hidden under your
jumper because you need to get used to moving round in it....
- you sneer at sword fights in films because any fool can tell
they're not within striking distance of their opponents...
- you're in the front row of the company staff photograph
and tell your neighbor to dress the line...
- dessert is served in stainless steel dishes, you start
speculating on how easy they would be to beat into shield
- you used to have a wok, but now you've got a spangenhelm...
- you were asked to find a broom handle to work a jack with
and couldn't find a broom but came back with a longaxe and
- you can describe the tactics, strategy, weapons, armor and
troops used in hundreds of medieval battles, but don't know
why they were fought...
- you can't raise your arms above horizontal on a Monday morning
- you're daft enough to lock the keys in your van, but you managed
to pry a window open with your sword...
- you consider a blue card and an authorization card two pieces
- you consider Art/Sci a weekend off between lists...
- you're parking your friend's car, and (being extremely nervous)
he shouts "HOLD!" as you're backing up... And you hit the
- you find yourself incapable of small hand motions and can only
move your whole arm, or at best, wrist flicks.
- [you`re female and] "You're so aggressive!" is a compliment!
- you see a beautiful member of the opposite sex sitting on a
Rattan seat and you realize that you are staring, at the
- someone mentions research and you say "Why? School's out right
- you would rather pack you halbard and your pike instead of food
on your way to war.
- you are cleaning up after an event and all that you can think
of is how great this aluminum table edging would be on a
and for that matter, drop the legs and put on a handle, it's
good light plywood, well reinforced, a little on the large side
but maybe for war...
- you slow down on the highways when there's no traffic because
you`re looking for a new shield boss.
You might be married to a stickjock if...
- You go into the bathroom to shave, and instead of nylons
hanging from the shower rod, there's a collection of helm
With thanks to Wolfgang Rotkopf, from
whom this list was shamelessly filched.
This is not an official publication of the Society for Creative Anachronism Inc, nor does it delineate official policy.
Copyright (c) 1996, X Tactic Design
All rights reserved.