The Aerodynamics of Glenn Burr: an Exhaustive Study
by the Committee to Exhaustively Determine the Aerodynamics of Things
Glenn "Zombie Smurf Guy" Burr, when thrown really high, will fall down with a minimal amount of drag due to his slender, aerodynamic shape.
The Investigation: Step by Step
- The 15 tubas lined up in an arcish form centered on the 50 yard line of Lewis Field to "play along with the band" (being an independent, autocratic section, it is unlikely that this actually occurred).
- The band finished playing and gathered around the podium to listen to our director guy, Michael A. Raiber, tell us some stuff that we probably needed to know.
- He finished talking.
- The band "sang".
- We stood there for a while.
- The tubas ran over to Glenn to conduct the experiment. However, being a small and wiry fellow, he wore us all out before we actually caught him.
- So we just stacked him.
The airspeed velocity of Glenn was recorded as minimal to none during the experiment, mostly due to the lack of actual airtime. We were able to determine for a fact, however, that aerodynamics of Glenn vary inversely to the number and mass of tuba players on top of him. Further studies will be conducted to determine whether this is a quality unique to Glenn, or whether others exhibit this trait.