Welcome to Philonski's Pop Adventure, the extremely realistic game in which loads of freaks ask you daft pop trivia questions. This game has been inspired by the amount of money Philonski has lost to the Top of the Pops machine in the Rattle and Hum. Unlike the Top of the Pops machine, however, Philonski's Pop Adventure does not bother to pretend it might one day cough up cash prizes.
While rummaging in the back of your wardrobe for your favourite pink pixie boots, you have discovered a little door, with the words "SECRET DOOR" emblazoned upon it. Slipping quickly through the opening, you have found yourself in another world, a terrifying world. A world in which you and all your family resemble Jonathan King. Turning around, you have seen your wardrobe being whisked off by some removal men, and now you are trapped. Your mission is simply to find your wardrobe again and escape, with or without your pixie boots.
You are standing in a moonlit street and can see: a busy pub, a lake.