You say you know all the days that were planned for me|
You knew my unformed substance in the womb
You saw me being made in secret.
Did you see me being sexually abused?
Did you hear me call to you in childhood terror as evil descended on me?
Did you know me, then?
How is it you did not save me? Stop it happening - To me, a vulnerable child?
How does faith work? Why did you not rescue me?
Did you weep when you saw my pain and shame?
What is faith?
Is the fact that I am a survivor an indication of your strength? that even through all the terror, You were there?
And that having come out of it and survived, I am a testimony to You?
Even today as I speak to other victims of sexual abuse, I talk of love and hope, for forgiveness and believing in oneself.
Does that mean you knew you would bring me through?
I do not understand your ways, God, but I am still alive to see your loving kindess in the land of the Living.